Grandpa i will miss you

It's 3:15am in the morning..5th of June 2008

My mum call me, and that time i had a bad instinct..she told me my grandpa passed away.. At first i was shocked and i dono how to react..after that i called pauline to tell her everything, there is when i start to have my tears drop from my inner feelings.. i find that i cannot accept it, it is really a hard thing for me, the previous times i saaw him is b4 i left.. that was when i gave myself a promise that my whole April trip will be fully visiting him.

My childhood life is basically staying with my grandpa all the whole day time.. I would say i am one of his favourite grandson, i get excited everytime i got there to his house, playing with his turtles and other pets, birds as well..

There was a time when i fall down from the staircase, he helps me up and checks whether there's injuries on my head, to make sure i'm always in good condition. i always feel good and happy, being comfortable having him beside me... i always feel blessed having him taking care of me, even in his little house.

There was a time, where i always had my afternoon tea by asking him to cook maggi mee for me. that is always my habit when i was in his house all day long. By the time i walk to the kitchen, he gets what i want, i feel so so so depress when i thought of this part..i really miss him..everything is too fast...it's just a glance. It was the time when he started to get sick, i started to worri about him, i nvr take my responsibility as a grandson. I seldom visit him and i even rejected him.. only then the previous sem holiday i had my time with him, that is when i know i can feel that he needs me a lot, as my parents are busy sometimes.

My mum always tell me about his great stories. Yes my grandpa is the special ones compared. He work for a lot of jobs, cook for the family when my mum was young..at this point my tears fully dropped..i can't stand it as i gave out his testimonials. He never had parents love after world war, but he still gives his best and efforts, love to the family. Late night working in cinema, just for an extra earning for the family...i really want to thank God because of him, i get to learn from him, a very special grandfather like him, is what i nvr want to lose out.

When im listening to the song "thank you"...i just to wan to tell to him how much i appreciate about his care and love towards me, all the days of my life with him..and now he is back to the midst of the Father in Heaven.

This is a word for my grandpa..and i wish he knows how much i love him.

"Grandpa, i want to thank you for everything that you have given me, from my childhood till now, all the teachings, love, care..you provide me with the things that i need and very sufficient. I just want to say sorri to you that i have not been treating you as my duty, my responsibility as a grandson, i know you would always wanted me to go and visit you for the past few years, and i never did. but now i realize that spending the time with you last 2 months is not enough to replace everything, but i am happy that you are having dinner always with us, that is the time i feel very happy having you with us in the family grandpa...i really mean it so much..

What i regretted the most is i never pray as much as i do for you, i never take my post to take care of you..but when have left me 30 mins ago.. i know it is time for you to be with God..that he calls you to be with him, i just want you to know that i love you so much! and i pray that you will enjoy the heavenly realms with the Lord.!

Grandpa, rest in peace. I shall uphold you to the Lord. AMEN!"

Love,
Jason